Chapter 1: A Series of Unfortunate Humiliations

Thank you for coming to my 50th birthday party.  I’m so grateful that you are all here.  I’m particularly grateful that my kids, Christopher and Rose are here.  Before we start, I have a little confession.  Tonight is not my actual birthday.   I’ve already been 50 for 6 months.  But if it’s good enough…read more

Chapter 2: I Will Never Be Humiliated Again.

By the time I reached Bowdoin College in 1978 at age 18, my brain had pretty much caught up to the other kids and it was ready to learn. But it hadn’t mastered what it was supposed to have learned in High School. Catching up was needed and just as Mrs. Gilman in 1st grade…read more

Chapter 3: Dayenu

By the time I had reached my 40’s, I had managed to keep a really big secret suppressed, you know the type of secret I’m talking about, a secret that is so scary it can’t come out and in reality everyone already knows. I’m Jewish. In ancient times, God created Adam. Adam begot Seth. Seth…read more

Chapter 4: God and His Lack of Interest

Thank you. Thank you. Welcome to the Jewish faith. Let’s talk some more about God. (Chapter 4: God and His Lack of Interest. Over use injuries were not my first hints as to God’s existence. I was introduced to Him when I was in grade school in the 1960’s at Sinai Temple in Springfield, MA….read more

Chapter 5, the Grand Opening

If I’m going to get an unpleasant big Dayenu type hint that my recipe for success wasn’t really working out, why not get it in October? It is my least favorite month. Any hope for a Seattle Indian summer is pretty much gone. It’s cold and usually raining but not yet cold enough for snow…read more

Chapter 6: Soulmate

I wish kind reader, were it in my power to present to your mind’s eye the favorite resort of the Richard Soulmate. Would that I could describe the extent of the 4 bedroom house in the wealthy yet edgy neighborhood, the clean luxurious yet not too pretentious automobile overshadowed by perfect landscaping as if to…read more

Chapter 7 God Does An Intervention

I think I’m being hunted by something. I do what I usually do when I’m nervous. I open a bag of Whole Foods tortilla chips, gluten free of course, and start eating them desperately and unconsciously. (eat them on stage with loud crunch) I hear a twig snap. Was that the crunch of a chip?…read more

Chapter 8: Radiant Richard

Let the self loving begin! This is going to be fun ! I am adorable. I have a gorgeous body; that’s a fifty year old body folks; and I know how to use it. I’m an expert at cuddling, kissing and making love. I move with grace and am particularly graceful when I ski. You…read more

Bonus Chapter: Grandmothers

I have been blessed with countless mentors. Here, I want to talk about two very special ones, my grandmothers. My Grandmother Snyder,my father’s mother, was born in a shtetl in Russia in the late 1800’s. Think Fiddler on the Roof, but without the dance numbers. She was one of the youngest children in a family…read more